she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
