So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
