I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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