Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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