Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
