..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize