im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
