you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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