we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
