She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
