ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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