Tell her she can't have a vagina
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
