When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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