I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
