Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
