why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
