My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
