I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
