Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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