Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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