Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You ruined the universe
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
