Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
