i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
