No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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