I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
