apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize