If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
