I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
