i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
