Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
