i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You can't motorboat a personality
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
