I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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