the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I still have a little drunk in my system
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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