my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize