You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
