How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
