last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize