i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
