are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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