We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
