I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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