didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
