I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just found puke in my bra..
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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