i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Randomize