While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
