loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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