Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
