I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
