ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
