I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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