i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
