It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
