So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
