Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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