I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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