i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
