I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
