So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
