so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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