i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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