bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
