hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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