I bet he comes in French.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
